you once said,
               "the day would come where you would leave,
                not by choice, but leave none the less.
                would that feeling span the ocean?
                these are my fears i must confess."

now, two months and twenty four days from that moment.
that moment that can and will never be forgotten,
i am gone.
an ocean away
with one thing left.
i have you, not in reach,
not by hands at least.
you're in my heart
and in my thoughts.
your warmth still lingers on cold park benches
and when it's lost, it's my heart that crashes.

without that feeling of comfort,
i lose all sanity.
without your voice, there is no clarity.
"all i got to pull me through, is memories of you."

               "wish those nights never had an end,
                the dreaded sun would never rise,
                parents would never yell nor call,
                or the reality we despise."

but now it has,
and i have just one request.
stop thinking of the times we'll meet again,
the strangeness, the worry.
just remember what we still have,
whether it be real or not,
no matter now, for i am happy.
not just content with what i've found.
found in me, found in you,
or maybe found in me with you.

if ever i can't help it any longer,
i will make sure i remember.
remember to feel the now,
maybe even the then,
not the "i wonder's" or the "how's".
only because i love you more than ever,
and i don't want to lose it.

you said that "distance will be ubearable"
but just look at what's happened.
so our hugs "arent' as near"
we both knew it was coming.
nothing can be perfect, so of course it's not the same.
though, i fear i say that in vain...
maybe you'll understand, or maybe...
you already do.